Day 21

I almost posted this as a 2.75 but by the time I got around to it it was already past midnight and into day 21 so I decided to wait till this afternoon to post this.


Subtitled: Helping others

First a tad bit of back story before I get into the meat of this, I was on Facebook last night, and managed to offer some one solicited martial advice lol, I know big surprise I put my nose where it wasn't asked to be, some one can smack it with a rolled up newspaper later lol.  But I gave my advice based on experience in my own history with marriage and marriage counseling. I am leaving the names out to protect the innocent, so to speak, but posting my part of the conversation bellow.

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(name deleted) can tell you for sure My ex is worse than you are lol no He has admitted to being frustrated when it comes to the feeling that you don't support his dreams, but I can see things from both sides. You would rather he focus on some thing more solid more guaranteed and more safe (when it comes to financial security) and he wants nothing more ... See Morethen to offer his family more than he ever had, and the way he sees best is to follow this dream which calls to him. You both have valid points, and because you are by that means both right it means you will clash and butt heads. you are both focused on the same thing, what will benefit the family, you are both passionate about it and it causes heated debates. Marriage is more than a piece of paper, and is more than a commitment between two people, it is also a commitment to God that each of you will be as one. Compromise is a major part in this commitment. "Wives should support their husbands, and husbands should love their wives as Jesus loved the church" (sorry for getting preachy) It is important that you both remember to just love each other and have faith in one another that you both have the families best interest at heart.

In short no I am not trying to score him brownie points, he may not be able to communicate how he feels at times but he does care for you. An exercise I found that works is perhaps each of you should exchange love letters with each other, hold nothing back in those letters, and when each of you reads what the other has said say nothing more than "Thank you I love you" so no one need fear being judged for what has been said. Then take to heart what has been written and consider each others thoughts that were expressed in future decisions.

After they said they were going to watch a movie I said:

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good! the two of you should find just a few minutes to an hour each day just being a husband and wife, the strains of a two income family with a child can test a marriage so it is important to find time together in which you can remind yourselves that you are husband and wife first before parent or providers.

I didn't hear a response till the next  morning, I admit I was nervous about saying all this when it wasn't called for but its in almost every guy's nature to want to fix things and I knew they were having frustrations and really wanted to help.

Thankfully the next morning the party in question seemed to appreciate what was said, so I decided to post it here to share with all my readers so they might gleam from this what they will, and will find their own help in this advice!

Till next time!

-365daysnowomen