Day 1.5

Sense this blog/quest was originally started at 12:00am Technically this post still falls under day one; Hence the title Day 1.5.

This midday post will be in two parts

Part 1:

Today being Sunday, I took the kids with me to church at the River Center in Lebanon, just at the morning songs, and before communion was handed out. Pastor Warren had a revelation of sorts. Warren approached the stage saying, that some one in the congregation was feeling unloved and alone, he said that some one was feeling an empty void in their hearts, desperation. He then told the congregation that this person needed to know that God had always loved us, even when we feel unworthy of it. Even when we were sin in his eyes before Jesus came to this earth he loved us. He loved us before we were born and will love us after we have gone. That his love is eternal and ever encompassing. Then he asked that if some one is feeling this way let them raise their hand, and with out thought of embarrassment my hand went up and I received a blessing of love from the congregation.


I mention this because this is the sole purpose of this quest. I am tired of being alone and feeling unloved. So I decided to fast love for a while if you will. Try and hit the old reset button and learn to develop new, healthier habits when it comes to my dating life.

This may not be the love he was talking about, I am not sure, but it is a love that I have always been missing, some thing I have yet to experience no matter how much I may feel for some one else.



Part 2 of this post:

Sense I have decided to ban myself if you will from flirting or dating, it has become exceedingly difficult to do so, I have been quite tempted, not by other women but by myself to continue the habits. It's like banning yourself from Cookies and sweets and because of it, its all you can manage to think about. I can tell there are going to be many sleepless nights thinking about all of this, but I figure that at the very least I can devote that time trying to develop better habits.

On that note I think its high time to read a book I bought almost a year ago lol. I got the chance to see Fireproof, a very powerful movie about building, or rebuilding a better relationship, one that will prove lasting. After watching said movie I went out and bought the work book to go with it, filled with lessons and projects to do or read about. Now this book will not take a year to go through, and is mostly used by people who are in failing marriages but I figure I can still learn some lessons and insights that I can use for the next time I manage to find a relationship to be involved in..... OOOPS just realized I forgot to mention the book title its called The Love Dare ... if your wondering why I didn't just go back and edit where I forgot to post then some thing else you need to know about me is I like to write my blogs, letters and thoughts as they occur in their natural form.... This may make for, at times, difficult reading being I like to jump subjects, it still allows me to reflect the real me as I am, just as if I were there next to you talking to you in a normal conversation.

Alas I am going to have to wrap this up, being it is Super Bowl Sunday, I need to prepare the food for the event before the game starts. Nothing big planned just the kids, my dad and myself. I am normally not a big fan of sports, I still like to catch a football game or two here and there just to get behind some competitive action once in a while.

TTFN

365daysnowomen