Day 21

I almost posted this as a 2.75 but by the time I got around to it it was already past midnight and into day 21 so I decided to wait till this afternoon to post this.


Subtitled: Helping others

First a tad bit of back story before I get into the meat of this, I was on Facebook last night, and managed to offer some one solicited martial advice lol, I know big surprise I put my nose where it wasn't asked to be, some one can smack it with a rolled up newspaper later lol.  But I gave my advice based on experience in my own history with marriage and marriage counseling. I am leaving the names out to protect the innocent, so to speak, but posting my part of the conversation bellow.

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(name deleted) can tell you for sure My ex is worse than you are lol no He has admitted to being frustrated when it comes to the feeling that you don't support his dreams, but I can see things from both sides. You would rather he focus on some thing more solid more guaranteed and more safe (when it comes to financial security) and he wants nothing more ... See Morethen to offer his family more than he ever had, and the way he sees best is to follow this dream which calls to him. You both have valid points, and because you are by that means both right it means you will clash and butt heads. you are both focused on the same thing, what will benefit the family, you are both passionate about it and it causes heated debates. Marriage is more than a piece of paper, and is more than a commitment between two people, it is also a commitment to God that each of you will be as one. Compromise is a major part in this commitment. "Wives should support their husbands, and husbands should love their wives as Jesus loved the church" (sorry for getting preachy) It is important that you both remember to just love each other and have faith in one another that you both have the families best interest at heart.

In short no I am not trying to score him brownie points, he may not be able to communicate how he feels at times but he does care for you. An exercise I found that works is perhaps each of you should exchange love letters with each other, hold nothing back in those letters, and when each of you reads what the other has said say nothing more than "Thank you I love you" so no one need fear being judged for what has been said. Then take to heart what has been written and consider each others thoughts that were expressed in future decisions.

After they said they were going to watch a movie I said:

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good! the two of you should find just a few minutes to an hour each day just being a husband and wife, the strains of a two income family with a child can test a marriage so it is important to find time together in which you can remind yourselves that you are husband and wife first before parent or providers.

I didn't hear a response till the next  morning, I admit I was nervous about saying all this when it wasn't called for but its in almost every guy's nature to want to fix things and I knew they were having frustrations and really wanted to help.

Thankfully the next morning the party in question seemed to appreciate what was said, so I decided to post it here to share with all my readers so they might gleam from this what they will, and will find their own help in this advice!

Till next time!

-365daysnowomen

Day 20

Subtitled: getting my butt in gear!

well with being promoted by JP Salamanca twice now I had better get my butt back in gear.  I have put off reading those books mostly because of the poor excuse of working on other projects and erm well because I've been too distracted by the ole boob tube! lol but then again what guy isn't from time to time.  Though a thought just occurred can we call them boob tubes any more? they don't have tubes after all, heck mine is a 42" connected to my computer (epic monitor) so starting tonight! that's right I said tonight! I will begin reading the other two books left in my arsenal as well as deciding what other novels to order that might help aide my quest. 

Thank you all who managed to stop by my show yesterday, I will try to leave more notice next time around so the attendance will hopefully be higher, as well as I need to negotiate a better day other than Fridays; I must learn to keep in mind that just because I am off the market on date nights doesn't mean that every one else is! lol


Well to all my readers old and new I bid you all a good night and happy reading if you need to catch up!

-365daysnowomen

Day 19

Today's blog is epic and short

I will be live on Blog TV

See video for details

Click here for video

See! short right?

lol

-365daysnowomen

Day 18

Subtitled: scoring cookies is NOT FLIRTING! lol

I swear! its not! ok I admit it was close but in my heart I don't think it was cause she is seeing some one, and even if I didn't have this quest, I have a strong code of ethics and even if its just dating I wont flirt with some one else's lady!  Mostly I was just thinking of my stomach and if she finds time I get cookies on Sunday!! woot!! lol

Keeping this post pretty short, mostly cause not much new has happened, I haven't had much time to read some more, mostly cause I am kinda tired on reading a guide to scoring, I might change to another book soon if this book doesn't get into REAL relationships!  I don't like flings, or any thing "casual" I am looking for a real relationship!

Been checking out a few different books

http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-Dating-Fulfilling-Relationship-ebook/dp/B001NXBPO8/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=digital-text&qid=1267160814&sr=8-6

and

http://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Wish-about-Dating/dp/0801068401/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267160814&sr=8-5

but I am probably going to have to wait a while, car insurance is due next month as well as I will be heading to the beach for spring break!  It's all up in the air whether or not I will be able to post during that time but I Will try.

Till then, TTFN!

-365daysnowomen

Day 17

Subtitled: Why I will wait

First of I just want to say I don't want to be preachy, ever when I blog, I only want to share what I find inspiring and decisions that I have made for myself.

Recently I posted a few times that I am going to be involved with ALPHA ministries, which is a course which explains the truth of what Christianity is, in a non threatening, no pressure environment. Recently, while prepping to be an ALPHA leader I came across the chapter of sex before marriage, all the scripture verses aside, there were some very good points they made, in which really showed me what I had missed out on by not waiting before I had gotten married. I had realized deeply how big of a mistake I had made by not waiting.

      Ex-scripts from the training books, and comments:

      First we risk hurting ourselves, when a relationship involving sexual

      intercourse breaks down, one or both parties get hurt. - this is very true I

      never took a break up harder than when I was sexually involved with the 

      people I was in the relationship with.

      In The Times, an article was published saying that couples who wait have 

      some thing to look forward to. They leave their parent's home in the morning 

      of the wedding as children, and climb into bed at night as adults. There is so 

      much to play with all at the same time: the new home, the giggling joint 

      wash-up sessions, the bed, the joint check book, and because it all started 

      with the wedding it became apart of the same adventure. - reading this made 

      me realize what I missed out on by not waiting, that initial excitement the 

      inclusion of every thing as part of the marriage. Sure the wedding was still 

      exciting and what not but I was always distracted with all the other stuff that 

      I would have to do, dishes taking care of my step daughter, dealing with 

      morning sickness cause my wife was already pregnant etc. The special 

      moment wasn't any thing like has been described to me.

The book goes on to compare sex before marriage like sneaking a peek at a present early before Christmas, how its just not the same, and the guilt and having to pretend the enthusiasm and what not. It just really opened my eyes, and so like I posted yesterday I have decided never again, I pray that the next woman I find will be able to understand this, as well as I hope it doesn't make me seem less attractive.

(notes: in the indented paragraph the italicized portions are from the book and the normal font is my comment on the subject.)

-365daysnowomen

Day 16

OK so the last few days have been busy, ALPHA training has taken a lot of me but I also have been spending a bit of time working on a few other things too.

Subtitled: Sorry for the delay!

Half way finished with "The A Game" I have found that it seems to be a guide for guys who are just looking for a "Hook up" in no way does it go beyond the initial meet.  I do plan on reading what the other books have to say too and find my own plan, but I think I need to find some thing with a tad bit more indepth when it comes to dating.  If I wanted a hook up I could have kept my stalker on the line.  What I need is some thing a tad bit more serious.

I also made a decision that I will no longer have "premarital sex" lol I look back on my relationship with my ex wife and that went waaayyy too fast.  I guess you can say it has to do with the ALPHA training I have been going through.  The book made a very good point about the subject.  Not only is it wrong to do according to faith, but they also enlightened me how it can benefit a relationship on many levels.  I'll probably share my own version of what is said, some thing a bit more compact on a later post, I just don't want this post to go on too long lol.

As for projects I have restarted, I have been working on my fantasy novel again, got over 25,000 words so far spanning 70 pages.  (formatted to US Trade Version)  I sent a copy to my mom's BF he has a degree in English Lit to take a look at it, see if I can get a pre edit.  Then I have tracked down a few Literary Agents that work with authors I admire, and will attempt to submit some queries to them.  So still trying to get my book published, nothing lined up or guaranteed yet.  So if there are any agents out there reading this I am still shopping lol!!!

alright that should be enough to tie over you readers for now.

-365daysnowomen

Day 13

GOOD NEWS! lol the books arrived yesterday and I have started to read them!


Subtitled: News News News

So the books on dating and attracting women arrived, boy are they different from what I have learned about long term relationships, but they even state in them "this is how you would act to attract some one not how you would act in a long term relationship you want to last"

After reading the first two chapters I donned my mirror with note cards lol, well two any way

The first one reads:  "You are an attractive man worth having!"

The Second one lists their 10 Rules for dating in the beginning:

1. Love your life! (my Translation) single or not you should love the life you live, and fill it with activities that you enjoy, but make sure you are "unplugged" the majority of the time.  They suggest join a gym, take up fishing, boating, biking, nature walks, any activity that is out of the house and doesn't require being"plugged in"
2. Own your attitude, what ever your attitude may be... OWN IT! You have complete control over how you feel, no matter your place in life so accept it!
3. Look and feel your best (pretty self explanitory)
4. Act fast, never hesitate: they suggest creating a 3 second rule, 3 seconds after she first notices you, you should be engaged in conversation, hesitation gives her time to pre-judge you and gives you time to fill your head with doubts
5. Keep an open mind: always be ready and available to new situations no matter where you are!
6. Don't trade your status for a woman's approval:  this rule is about establishing dominance with out being a jerk about it, sticking up for yourself basically
7. Don't be nice, don't be a jerk, always be interesting:  this rule is about walking that fine line between the two (nice and jerk) to being assertive and confidant! but keeping things interesting, by being funny, spontaneous, adventurous, etc.
8. Focus on her not on yourself, pay attention to body language as well as keep the conversation on her most of the time.
9. It's always your fault!  lol (wow to this rule) 
10. NEVER GIVE UP!

So in the nature of being the best me I can be I went out bought some new digs, as well as I have started a new diet.  I have started to take the Activia challenge as well as the Special-K challenge.  (here's crossing my fingers to stick to it) I also will start taking walks after lunches untill I find out how much it costs to join the local gym.

TTFN

-365daysnowomen

Day 12

Subtitled: Sayings with interesting origins!

I always wondered where this saying came from

If a house is divided against itself, that house

will not be able to stand  -Mark 3:25

Of course if you look at it with that end part there it's pretty easy but every time I have heard it in the past the fact that it's a bible quote is always left out lol.  It just goes to show, some times sayings and lessons that are common knowledge come from the most surprising origins.

I took a deeper look into the quote, basically it says this; A constantly squabbling family disintergrates.  Satan and his followers are united to bring the all of man, and we should be united in our relationships against him and his works.  Now I don't mean that we should all go out and hate, not at all in fact if you think that you should go out and judge others for sins, and hate them for not following your beliefs then you aren't understanding what is in the second half of the book lol.  We have been, instructed and urged to forgive, to love, to understand and show compassion not to put down or to condemn any one. 

What would any of this have to do with relationships you might ask?  Well if you look at other parts of the bible you quickly learn that marriage is a part of God's plan for us, Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. and Mark 10:7-8 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Because of this marriage is not to be entered lightly, and two people who are married together must be united in their hearts and efforts or risk failing, dooming the relationship to end.  Mark 10:9 goes on to say Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.  This verse right here should sheds a light on just how serious this vow should be, that if you go in thinking that "If it doesn't work we can always get a divorce later" then you have already put the final nail in the coffin.  No marriage can last if you can ever see the need to have an "out strategy"

To wrap up this pretty preachy blog lol  when you become married to some one, you no longer are two people but one, one in heart and in spirit, and that when your efforts are not unified but are disruptive to the well being of one they are disruptive to the marriage and quickly the relationship will fail.  But a marriage in where both are united in the same goal in life will find a relationship that is built on a firm foundation, supporting your significant other, lifting them up and praising them lifts yourself up, praises to them are praises to yourself.

Bless you all

-365daysnowomen

Day 11

LOL yes this is another late blog, but I think I am doing rather well considering that originally I wasn't even sure I could find some thing to talk about every day.

This one is subtitled: the thought to be dead have returned?

Still waiting for the first books to arrive, the last thing that was listed in the tracking page was that it arrived... some where, the location doesn't state where I imagine its at some sorting facility.  I wouldn't think it had made it's way all the way to Sweet Home yet, perhaps its in Portland at this point or Salem, not sure which facility it will go to first.

Tried the YOGA THIS MORNING!  lol I say tried loosely cause I soon figured out that you need some kind of bricks for these stretches? so I have to make my way to Walmart at some point and see how much they are and if I can squeeze them into my budget for this month.  I don't really want to delay this a whole month to try, so if I cant get them till then I will have to find some kind of substitute around the house and make a second attempt.

I did discover when attempting the Yoga video that I am in not in any way close to where I used to be lol I think there is a good 6 inches between my ankles and my butt when I attempt to sit back on them (was part of the warm up).  I had in no way any delusions about my size and how out of shape I am but it was still a surprise. 

I haven't really had much thought as to how to improve myself when it comes to relationships, hoping some reading materials will inspire me some way, sorry if it seems like this blog is stuck in a holding pattern, the only thing I have been able to do on the matter is think more on how I have made the wrong choices in the past.


I was told, however, that some one thinks what I am doing is romantic?!? now I have been worried as of late that the hopeless romantic in me has been long sense dead, but this person who shall remain anonymous, said "You are spending a year, making yourself a better mate for some one that you haven't even met yet because you want to make it last?  how much more proof do you need that the hopeless romantic still exists in you??" 

I did put some thought into this as well as into what it is for me to consider myself a hopeless romantic.  To me being a hopeless romantic would be to be so optimistic about love that there is never any doubt in my mind that it can conquer any obstacle; but maybe that is too narrow of a view on the matter.  maybe it is possible to be a hopeless romantic who is tempered with some, SOME pessimism to protect one's self enough to know when a relationship is unhealthy.  Maybe, just maybe having doubts can be a way to protect yourself, as long as the doubts are founded in reason, not out of simple fear.  However one must also keep in mind that you cannot judge every situation based simply on past experience, it would not be fare to doom a relationship, and judge some one based on the actions of my past relationships alone, each person and new relationship needs to be able to stand on their or it's how merits!

Just some food for thought I guess, will have to consider the matter more, so I can find away to make the point clearer to my readers.

Till then TTFN!

-365daysnowomen

Day 10

Let's try this one more time shall we? lol
I almost had this blog entry completed when my daughter's cat decided it was time to turn off the computer lol.

This one is Subtitled: Updates all around!

This posting will be in 3 parts

Part 1

OK so just FYI, so you guys know I am not at a stand still on this whole thing, Amazon just sent me an email a few minutes ago telling me that my order of 3 off my books off of my wish list have been shipped.  These books are about the first steps I will need to take after my year off, how to attract and find the right woman basically.  obviously sense I seem to attract a few head cases lol I need to attune my attractions to some one more suited to me, either that or I need help better recognizing when a woman is actually attracted to me instead of waiting for her to throw herself at me LOL.  When I receive the books I will spend a few days reading them before posting a review and pics of them, as well as links to purchase them on the fan page.

Part 2

Although Sunday's sermon had nothing to do with love, relationships, or v-day it did have an important lesson that I did not know had really impacted me till today.  It was about letting go of the past and forgiving the people who have wronged you.  Today I was reflecting on this and the prayer we had after the sermon, and I realized just how much of an impact it had on me.  I have managed to completely let go of the ex wife and the crap she put me through lol.  seriously a weight is off my shoulders, I just don't care when I think about it.  I forgive her I realize that she must have had a pretty bad messed up childhood to be the person she is today, and it was not her fault for how she acted or what she did or what she continues to do.  I hope that one day she will learn to love, and that she will be happy and healthy, and that maybe one day she can patch up the relationship she currently doesn't have with our children.  I hope that she one day can be a healthy part of their lives.

Part 3

I have noticed the view counter slowly climbing each day and I do hope that does mean I am getting quite a bit of views.  I have managed to defend myself quite well against those who are nay sayers. and even managed to politely correct a woman who hid an insult in a joke on the video I posted on YouTube that began this whole blog situation.  I also have managed to discuss in emails, IM's DM's, and Chats with different people and have discovered that I have even managed to touch a few lives, other people I know are staring their own similar projects like this one, making promises to themselves and isolating themselves from the situations to they can formulate better habits.  To know that my life in some way has inspired some one else to better improve their selves is a blessing and warms my heart.

So to you who reads and does not subscribe, to you who finds what I say an inspiration I wish you all a sincere blessing of hope and luck!  I genuinely pray that any one who gleams insight from what I put here will succeed in their endevors!

Good night friends!

-365daysnowomen

Day 9.5

These half day posts wont always be advertised so only those who subscribe are ever going to see the whole story lol.

This was on twitter a few hours ago posted originally by THE Alyssa Milano (yes it has been verified, for those unfamiliar with twitter) and was retweeted (tweeting is the correct term for those who dont know)

The following is not my original work, nor do I claim it to be, I just found it inspirational being that I am a geek/nerd lol

Why Geeks Make Good Lovers

One of the Universal Truths that lie just beyond the fabric of modern society is the axiom that geeks, along with nerds and other peoples who overinvest in intelligence but boast underdeveloped social skills, make the best lovers. Once people realize this, the sexual revolution that will sweep through western culture will make the seventies look like the fifties, and I’m not talking about wider pants. The reasons why geeks are unparalleled as lovers are simple and many:
Geeks don’t sleep around. Geeks, through their higher IQ and therefore greater understanding of the tragedy of human condition, know that the dice only seem to have more sides on the other side of the table. Hence, they instinctively stay loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair, and frankly, geeks generally aren’t quite sure how they ended up with the lover they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know the geek will be yours until you are done.
Geeks are good at the things they try. When’s the last time you met a geek who didn’t have some secret skill just simmering below the surface of a simple-seeming life, honed in the wee hours of the night? It could be hacking, playing video games, or the ability to insert and remove those stupid computer power plug things from drives without cursing or breaking a finger. Let sex become their new favorite late-night hobby, and you know that a geek won’t quit until he or she has learned how to hack into your brainstem through specific genitalia interfacing in parallel with general dermal and oral bonding.
Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to a geek. This means that a geek is more interested in their or your happiness than looking good to others, which will come in handy when either (a) you need attention, in any sort ranging from the nurturing to the lascivious, and also, because both of those things are not necessarily unorthagonal dimensions, any combination of the two, or (b) you need to be rescued because it is the climax of a teen 80’s movie. Or both.
Geeks haven’t formed bad habits. After years of serially dating lots of other women, many socially successful guys have become too confident to be intimate, think of women only for sex, and don’t have any intention of letting what in their minds is “just another girlfriend” enjoy the last spring roll. Let us not even pry into the diabolical, dark, twisted, and depraved mind of the girl who has serially dated many men. None of this is true of the geek, however. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of the neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence; however, once coaxed from their emotional holes like tame bunnies, they are eager to please and enjoy their newfound relationship.
Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with the intensity of a hunting cheetah. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with hunting orcs with a +1 Sword of Piercing rather than hunting gazelles with claws, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task and given Mountain Dew, becomes a tireless slave to their goal. Put a six-pack of Dew on the bedside table and a geek between the sheets, and you have found yourself one relentless lover. When’s the last time all night actually meant all night? When’s the last time you were with someone who, if they needed more of the night, knew how to get it?
Geeks have excellent finger dexterity. Geeks roll dice. Geeks play video games. Geeks flip pages in books. Geeks type a lot, and use characters like ~ and ^ and | that no one else has any use for. Geeks use calculators in postfix notation. As a result, a geek knows how to use his or her fingers to greatest possible effect. Whether you have a button that needs pushing or a joystick that needs joy, a geek is the person for the job.
Geeks have imagination. Once you have found your amazing lover, you wouldn’t want things to become boring. That is where geeks prove their real worth. Replayability is important to the value-conscious video-game playing geek, and this translates to relationships as well. Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has created a Quake 3 mod? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who has written steamy Everquest fan fiction involving elven incest? Wouldn’t you want to date someone who wished they were Morpheus rather than someone who wished they were Barry Bonds?
There are plenty of other reasons why geeks are the best lovers around, but don’t just take my word for it. Find the nearest sexy geek and coax that person into asking you out, even if you have to do so using instant messanger. Remember: the only non-sexy geek is a single geek.


The original article posted by its author (unknown to me at this time) can be found here http://awkwardthingsisaytogirls.com/2007/02/why-geeks-make-good-lovers/

Day 9

Today' subtitle: it's Valentine's day all day, romantic comedy any one?

for a while there I actually considered this, I went through the tv guide (all 200 channels) when through the onDemand list (both free and paid) then scoped out what was available on the Instant Watch Movie list on Netflix.  Finally I just had to say FUCK THE ROMANTIC TEAR JERKIN BULLSHIT! lol (sorry for the language)

3 steps to surviving V-Day as a single average guy:

     Step 1: Go to the fridge and grab a couple of cold beers, (you know you still have some stashed   
     away common you are single!)

     Step 2: Go to where you keep your snacks and grab the nearest jumbo bag of chips, for me this
     was a bag of Cheetoes.

      Step 3: This one is not optional so make sure you have a copy of it or put it in your instant list on
      Netflix, this step is MOST IMPORTANT, go find your spot, (you know you have a movie
      watching spot), and start watching The Boondock Saints! YEAH BABY!


When you are single or when in a relationship it is always important to find the time to just be a guy! watch a guy movie, grab a beer, and just spend 120 mins average being just that, a guy. 

*****WARNING******

Do not attempt if you are in a relationship and you have not completely informed your significant other of the need to have some guy time, and have already agreed with her the established time limits and scheduling to establish time for her to have WOMAN TIME! duh!


That's all for now!

-365daysnowomen

Day 8

Ok back to the routine of getting these posted around midnight,


This one is subtitled: The Church can be my Valentine!

Still not 100% today so I never did get around to trying out the Yoga, one of my strange flaws is I internalize stress so much I get physically ill, one of the reasons I am in the situation I am currently in lol but we wont get into that, this isn't the forum for that conversation.  I WILL keep up my promise to myself and to my ever growing readers to give it a genuine try, I am not attempting to put this off for any reason other than it's just not possible feeling like this to bend over and stretch lol.

With today technically being Valentine's Day, I cant help but think of my previous disappointments over the last 14 years, I do my best not to let them get to me, but I do let them serve as a reminder as for why I am doing this, why I am putting out this much effort to make a change in myself, so that one day I might attract a mate and future wife (God willing) that will give as much to me as I give to her, one that can realize that when two are married they really do become one, and that it is imperative to remember that what benefits the whole benefits the individual and what causes harm to one causes harm to both.  I have never asked for much in the past honestly, I just believe that I deserve some one who can be faithful and not be cruel to my children.

Sense tomorrow is Sunday, I will be doing my best effort to attending Church at The River Center tomorrow.  It will be interesting to hear what the sermon will be, being it is Valentine's Day, and the sermons do tend to have a theme for particular days such as Mother's Day etc.  Sense I have taken myself off the market then Church will be my Valentine for this year lol, don't quite know how that will work out but it's the safest Valentine I can select with out breaking my own promise to myself.

Speaking of my ever growing readers I made a Fan Club on Facebook for this blog where readers can go on discuss what ever, share success stories or what have you and see some pictures I have uploaded of some of the things I am doing to help me along my quest.  The fan page can be found here.

TTYL

-365daysnowomen

Day 7

No subtitle for this posting, I never did get the chance to try the yoga yet if you are wondering, I have been sick lately so hasn't been the best time to try, it also explains why this posting is so much later then the previous postings (usually made just after midnight) But just because I have been sick doesn't mean I have stopped my self improvement by any means.  Yesterday I ordered 3 books off of my wish list so I can begin reading them when they get here.  I also read some more from the book "The Love Dare"  If I find anything more from there truly inspiring I may write more from it later.


It has come to recent attention that family is also keeping track and watching my progress as I write, no this doesn't bother me in the least lol I am who I am, and they know just how far my oddity goes when it comes to my personality.  I have been taking a break from romantic comedies too by watching a few action movies, can only take so much disappointment on how my love life has turned out at once (if you know what I mean).

Last night I had a theory, that some women are attracted to men who are humble yet secure with who they are, and that are also funny.  With that in mind I think I am going to work on another YouTube video, this time one that is more towards the line of a stand up comedy routine, and see how that works out.  I don't mean I expect to attract any one thus breaking my own rules, but rather just to see what kind of response it gets from the general public.


Any who back to resting I want to get will soon so I can try out the Yoga ASAP

ttfn

-365daysnowomen

Day 6

Subtitled: Inspiration of what love is and can be from The Love Dare and The Bible:

Sorry if this is a tad too preachy for some of you readers, I know there are many of you of different faiths, but I can only go on what I know.  If you really want to skip the “bible stuff” just skip over the indented paragraphs, but I do encourage all of you to read what I wrote there, I placed some insights beyond what is in the quotes to enlighten a better understanding of what they say.

There is a lot more to this book, in fact it’s broken down to 40 days of lessons, these are just some of my favorite out scripts.

                       Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one 
                       another in love –Eph 4:2

If we look at the verses surrounding this one, we read that we are being instructed on being mature to one another.  “Pour yourselves out to each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.”

Be kind to one another, tender –hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you – Eph 4:32

In this section we are told about how the “old way” has to go, we must free ourselves of the chains of an “eye for an eye” and instead steer our hearts to forgive others as God has forgiven us.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor –Rom 12:10

Love from the center of who you are, don’t fake it.  Run for dear life from evil, hold on for dear life to good.  Be good friends who love deeply, practice playing second fiddle.

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city – Prov 16:32

This proverb is more universal in meaning but it can also apply to relationships.  Moderation is better than muscle, self-control better than political power.

[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinth. 13:7

This one is pretty self explanatory, the only thing I could add would be; If I give everything I won to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.  So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I am bankrupt without love.

Greet one another with a kiss of love -1 Peter 5:14

I really don’t think there is anything I could possibly add to this one, it just says it all!

Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies – Eph 5:28

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church, a love marked by giving, not getting.  Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty.  Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.  And that is how husbands out to love their wives.  They’re really doing themselves a favor, sense they’re already “one” in marriage.

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. –Phil 2:4

If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you acre; then do me a favor.  Agree with each other, love each other, be deep spirited friends.  Don’t push your way to the front, don’t sweet-talk tour way to the top.  Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.  Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Well with all that said, I managed to get out to the store today to help make a decision for another part of my quest.  If you remember I recently posted that I was debating taking a class in Tai Chi or Yoga.  Well while I was at the story I picked up a copy on dvd of “Quick Start Yoga for Weight Loss” sense I already have a couple of DVD’s on Tai Chi, I figured getting this DVD will allow me to be cost effective in my decision making.  I can try this for a few months to see if I like it before I decide which class I am going to seek to attend.  So tomorrow morning after I drop off my daughter at school I will begin a new regime of Yoga to start my day!

Peace be with all of you!

365daysnowomen

Day 5

This one is Subtitled: Poems that inspire!

Tonight / Last night depending on your point of view I started reading my Poems That Live Forever, a wonderful book given to me by my grandmother to encourage me to never stop writing my poetry. I reached the section of poems on love, some depressing, others with the high standards I have when it comes to love, but this one, this one seemed to inspire me on my quest



The Woman Who Understands 
     Somewhere she waits to make you win, your soul in her firm, white hands-
     Somewhere the gods have made for you, the Woman Who Understands!

     As the tide went out she found him
     Lashed to a spar of Despair,
     The wreck of his Ship around him-
     The wreck of his Dreams in the air;
     Found him and loved him and gathered
     The soul of him close to her heart-
     The soul that had sailed an uncharted sea,
     The soul that had sought to win and be free-
     The soul of which she was part!
     And there in the dusk she cried to the man,
     "Win your battle-you can, you can!"
   
     Broken by Fate, unrelenting,
     Scarred by the lashings of Chance;
     Bitter his heart-unrepenting-
     Hardened by Circumstance;
     Shadowed by Failure ever,
     Cursing, he would have died,
     But the touch of her hand, her strong warm hand,
     And the love of his soul, took full command,
     Just at the turn of the tide!
     Standing beside him, filled with trust,
     "Win!" she whispered, "You must, you must!"
    
     Helping and loving and guiding,
     Urging when that were best,
     Holding her fears in hiding
     Deep in her quiet breast;
     This is the woman who kept him
     True to his standards lost,
     When tossed in the storm and stress of strife,
     He thought himself through with the game of life
     And ready to pay the cost.
     Watching and guarding, whispering still,
     "Win you can-and you will, you will!"

     This is the story of ages
     This is the woman's way;
     Wiser than seers or sages,
     Lifting us this day by day;
     Facing all things with courage
     Nothing can daunt or dim,
     Treading Life's path, wherever it leads-
     Lined with flowers or choked with weeds,
     But ever with him-with him!
     Guidon-comrade-golden spur-
     The men who win are helped by her!
    
     Somewhere she waits, strong in belief, your
     Soul in her firm, white hands:
     Thank well the gods, when she comes to you,
     The Woman Who Understands!

                                                   -Everand Jack Appleton


And with that I shall end this posted blog entry leaving to all of you who may read this to draw your own conclusions or inspirations from this poem.


-365daysnowomen

Day 4

Before you ask where is Day 3? you were doing so well, I posted Day 3 as a vlog on YouTube, if you missed it follow this link here.

Subtitle: Romantic Comedies, Love Songs, and Fantasy Novels; Oh my!

Nothing to inflate one's standards of love than a Romantic Comedy or a Love Song. I'd have to say, especially after watching Couple's Retreat last night, that the idealization that these movies portray gets worse with every year. The large guy with the heart on his sleeve starts out as a divorced man still in love with his ex wife and with out any attempt at getting her back winds up with her all over again in the end of the movie. What is up with that? when has that EVER worked in reality? Besides just that happening when has there ever been a magical place couples can go to that has a 100% success rate of making all of their marriages work out in the end? I have seen movies that can portray a man who is a complete ass and because of a cheesy gesture gets the girl in the end! I honestly don't know why I watch them, I always get disappointed by the end of those movies lol.

Besides Romantic Comedies and Love Songs, the worst thing out there that has affected my view on romance and love the most are the Fantasy Novels I read. You may or may not watch the Saturday Evening show Legend of the Seeker on ABC? well before it was a TV series it was a Novel series, quite a long one I might add, but a series none the less. The love portrayed between Richard and Kahlan in the TV show pales in comparison to the love they have in the novel. When you read the series you can look into their souls and truly feel what they feel as the characters develop, I have come to realize, the hard way, that that kind of love and devotion only exists in those novels, and to expect some one to fall that deeply for me is really asking a lot.

Why do I bring any of this up? how is this helpful? well this is a realization stage in my quest, where I find things that are unhealthy to my progress to finding a good relationship, whether its my taste in dark broody goth chicks, or its my idea of what love should be like. I need to find some thing realistic and some one who would make a better fit for my personality. I need to admit to myself that even if I get deeply dark and moody I have moments of happiness too, and that I should find some one to share in the moments of bliss more than I should find some one who can understand my level of depression.

bah now I am starting to ramble in this post, so I had better cut myself off now and find a way to center myself for today.

Laters!

365daysnowomen

Day 2

What a day lol, Dad finally left for his house in Portland after wintering at my place for 4 months lol. It's all gravy now, house is sooo much more quieter and the kids are so much better behaved with him out of the house.

The quiet is going to give me WAY more time to devote to self improvement.

I have been debating joining a class in order to better center myself, going back and forth between Yoga and Tai Chi... tons of pros and cons on both sides so its good that I have plenty of time to decide and make up my mind. I have been finding it hard not to flirt with people online, like I typically do lol especially attending my first blog tv show after making this commitment and with all the hotties I find on the net lol.


Today was also... karmic-ly weird too. It would figure that today I would get the first Valentine in the last 14 years, yes probably it was mostly for my daughter because it came with a button for her (more of my pessimistic side saying this) but it once more reassured me that this quest is needed, if the only person out of all the people I date or get engaged or married to in 14 years to get me a valentine is a friend that I only know strictly online then I must be doing some thing VERY wrong lol.

I Think tonight after watching some Zombieland (thank god for netflix) I may pop in my Tai Chi video and practice a few things from home just to de-stress and let go of all the negative energy dad brought into the house

TTFN

365daysnowomen

Day 1.5

Sense this blog/quest was originally started at 12:00am Technically this post still falls under day one; Hence the title Day 1.5.

This midday post will be in two parts

Part 1:

Today being Sunday, I took the kids with me to church at the River Center in Lebanon, just at the morning songs, and before communion was handed out. Pastor Warren had a revelation of sorts. Warren approached the stage saying, that some one in the congregation was feeling unloved and alone, he said that some one was feeling an empty void in their hearts, desperation. He then told the congregation that this person needed to know that God had always loved us, even when we feel unworthy of it. Even when we were sin in his eyes before Jesus came to this earth he loved us. He loved us before we were born and will love us after we have gone. That his love is eternal and ever encompassing. Then he asked that if some one is feeling this way let them raise their hand, and with out thought of embarrassment my hand went up and I received a blessing of love from the congregation.


I mention this because this is the sole purpose of this quest. I am tired of being alone and feeling unloved. So I decided to fast love for a while if you will. Try and hit the old reset button and learn to develop new, healthier habits when it comes to my dating life.

This may not be the love he was talking about, I am not sure, but it is a love that I have always been missing, some thing I have yet to experience no matter how much I may feel for some one else.



Part 2 of this post:

Sense I have decided to ban myself if you will from flirting or dating, it has become exceedingly difficult to do so, I have been quite tempted, not by other women but by myself to continue the habits. It's like banning yourself from Cookies and sweets and because of it, its all you can manage to think about. I can tell there are going to be many sleepless nights thinking about all of this, but I figure that at the very least I can devote that time trying to develop better habits.

On that note I think its high time to read a book I bought almost a year ago lol. I got the chance to see Fireproof, a very powerful movie about building, or rebuilding a better relationship, one that will prove lasting. After watching said movie I went out and bought the work book to go with it, filled with lessons and projects to do or read about. Now this book will not take a year to go through, and is mostly used by people who are in failing marriages but I figure I can still learn some lessons and insights that I can use for the next time I manage to find a relationship to be involved in..... OOOPS just realized I forgot to mention the book title its called The Love Dare ... if your wondering why I didn't just go back and edit where I forgot to post then some thing else you need to know about me is I like to write my blogs, letters and thoughts as they occur in their natural form.... This may make for, at times, difficult reading being I like to jump subjects, it still allows me to reflect the real me as I am, just as if I were there next to you talking to you in a normal conversation.

Alas I am going to have to wrap this up, being it is Super Bowl Sunday, I need to prepare the food for the event before the game starts. Nothing big planned just the kids, my dad and myself. I am normally not a big fan of sports, I still like to catch a football game or two here and there just to get behind some competitive action once in a while.

TTFN

365daysnowomen

Day 1

Ok here we go day one,

Of what you might ask? NO WOMEN! Lol

Now before you ask, no this does not mean I am going to “switch teams” It just means I am tired of the drama, heart break, etc.

My plan during this break is to keep a log about what I have been doing in order to accomplish my goals, sort of a progress report as you will. I do not know if I will have the time to do this daily, my obligations to my children do come first, but I will do my best.

So in order to re-center myself, in order to have some me time, to discover who I am again, to see if the old me still exists or if a new me has taken his place :)

For those who may not know, I was married for 5 long, dramatic, troubled years and I haven't been the same sense. I have unsuccessfully tried my best to get over my ex. Every relationship I seem to find leads to even more disaster. Although I do hope to take this journey drama free I would not be surprised if an Ex or two made an appearance on this blog to disrupt my plans. I can think of one who is THAT vindictive lol.

GOAL:

1. To see if the hopeless romantic is still alive with in me

2. To figure out who I am exactly

3. To better prepare myself for a one day healthy relationship

4. To find some inner peace inside my soul so I can properly heal

5. To learn to recognize when a relationship is bad or is doomed and to get out before I get in too deeply

6. To learn how to fall for the RIGHT woman

In order to complete these goals I am going to have to do a bit of soul searching and research. All current obligations that I have made aside, no new projects will be undertaken until this goal has been completed a year from now.

Reward:

Besides a healthier me and better understanding of myself, I will also find some sort of reward, some thing I will have plenty of time to think about lol.

Sincerely,

365daysnowomen